Our little poppyseed is going to be prune-sized tomorrow, as I hit the 10-week mark. We’ve only got 3 more weeks until we hit the 2nd trimester! Today I went for my annual exam with my OB but at the end of the appointment, she did another Ultrasound (yay!). Little Levin (as my mom has been referring to him/her as) has little arm and leg buds now and was waving to us! We heard the heartbeat again, and it was still beating strong at 170 beats per minute.
So far I’m feeling really good about this pregnancy… the doctor seems to think everything is going well, and it’s been great getting to see the heartbeat three times already. Each time she prints out pictures, she says they look “textbook,” which definitely makes me feel good. The baby seems to be growing appropriately and today on the photos (you can see them above–they look best if you turn your head sideways), we saw the Umbilical Cord.
The hardest thing about Mullerian Duct Abnormalities, and Unicornuate Uteruses in particular, is that the risk doesn’t really go away once you get out of the first trimester. Most people, when pregnant, can relax and breathe a sigh of relief once they hit the 13 week and 3 day mark, which is the official beginning of the second trimester, but with the condition I have, that’s when the up-hill battle begins. There’s a big risk of miscarriage in the 2nd and third trimesters and a risk of preterm labor, so at the point in pregnancy at which most women are able to sit back, relax and enjoy their pregnancy glow, I’m going to be worrying constantly that something could go wrong, that my uterus won’t stretch enough to accommodate the baby, or that somehow I’m going to go into preterm labor way earlier than healthy and I’ll have to go on bed rest and take all kinds of medications to stop the labor and to help the baby’s lungs to develop faster.
The advice I’ve gotten from everyone–doctors, other women who are pregnant with high risk pregnancies, and friends–is to take it one day at a time. I’ve heard this mantra that some women say to themselves each morning: “today I am pregnant and I love my baby.” That’s a good way to sort of force yourself to take it one day at a time, and to live in the moment. Ken has expressed his fear to me that I’m getting too attached too soon or too excited too early, but I find that it’s hard not to be excited. I don’t want to live in constant fear of something going wrong, because then I would never be able to just enjoy being pregnant, but I don’t want to get so attached that if something happens I’ll be unconsolable and devastated. I think feeling devastated if something happens is only natural but I do think I have enough faith that I’ll be able to get through whatever happens. My mother-in-law uses the Yiddish word, “Beshert” quite frequently, which means “What’s meant to be is meant to be.” If this baby is meant to come into this world, then that’s what’s going to happen. If he/she isn’t meant to, then it’ll happen when it’s supposed to happen, at a different time.
So in medical appointment news, my next visit (with my new OB) is scheduled for April 4th, and the following week I will be meeting with the Maternal and Fetal Medicine Specialist for the first time, on April 12th.