The “wait and see” approach…

After a wonderful rest of our trip in San Francisco, we made it back to Baltimore safe and sound on Sunday night.  Yesterday we got back into the swing of things with work and preschool.  Yesterday I also went for my first weekly HCG blood draw so that the OB can track my hormone levels.  We got the result back today and the number was 3124.

The doctor explained that, in isolation, this number doesn’t mean much of anything.  We know that my numbers have gone down from the 85,000 I had the day we found out the pregnancy was not viable, but it’s probably a little higher than we’d like it to be given that I’m 3 weeks post D&C today.  Friends I’ve talked to said it took them about 5-6 weeks to get their period back after a miscarriage but at this rate it will still be another few weeks before I get mine back.  From here we’ll watch what the numbers do over the next few weeks and ideally it will go down by about 10% or so each week until it gets down below 5.  Once it gets to 0, I should start ovulating and get my period back and then it needs to stay at 0 for 3 months before we can “try” again.  If it starts to plateau or goes up, that would be a sign that something is going wrong and that I might require treatment.

In the meantime I’m going to try not to dwell on the numbers… I’ll keep wishing and hoping for the numbers to go down but there’s nothing I or anyone else can do to make that happen.  We just have to wait and see.  Wait and see.  As someone with a very Type A personality, I don’t like being told that I have to wait and see.  I want to do something but I can’t.

So to keep my mind off of these numbers… I’m going to focus on me.  Ken has a lot of studying to do over the next few months as he gears up for his last in-service exam of residency.  Normally when he’s studying, I just fool around on my phone or watch TV, but this year I’d like to focus on doing things that actually make me happy and are good for me: I want to knit, read more books, exercise and spend time with friends.  These are things that make me happy and that I want to commit to doing more of for myself.

When I’m with Julia I also want to make sure that our time is quality time–not just spent watching movies together but spent going out and doing things.  Maybe I’ll take her on a short trip, and I want to make sure we use our Aquarium Membership and maybe even check out a couple other museums in the spring.  While we’re still living in Baltimore, we need to take advantage of all the city has to offer.

The more I keep myself busy, the less time I will spend just being sad about this whole experience and the sooner I’ll be able to move on emotionally.  I may not be able to move on physically since I’m still bleeding and there’s still HCG in my system, but emotionally I’m ready to move on.  Hopefully my body will follow soon after!

For now, I’d like to leave you with some photos from our trip.

Our first full day in San Francisco, Jim took Ken & me on a wine and beer tour of Oakland.  First, we took the Ferry across the Bay and then we went to a wine tasting room and three different beer places.  We had a great time and were so glad Jim decided to come with us.  1.5.2016(10)

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The next day (Tuesday), Ken & I got to have a Staycation in the city, at the Sir Francis Drake Hotel, thanks to my friend Noelle who works for Kimpton Hotels.  She set us up with their Friends & Family Discount.  (Thank you, Noelle!)

The hotel was beautiful and we had a really fun time!  We enjoyed their free wine hour, had a lovely dinner at a British restaurant that served fancy pub food, and we enjoyed a drink at the Starlight Room on the top floor of the hotel.  We got to walk around Union Square and we also decided at the last moment to do a Segway Tour of the City!  It took us around Fisherman’s Wharf and the Marina and was a lot of fun!  We also took a ride on the Cable Car! It was fun playing tourist in my own city.    1.5.2016(9)

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The next day was New Years Eve… during the day we took Julia into the city with us, where we had lunch with some of my high school friends–Amelie, Matt & Jordan along with Matt’s boyfriend and Jordan’s husband.  It was so nice to see them and for us all to be together again for the first time in a while.  I always say that the best friends are the ones you can not see for years but where you feel like you pick up right where you left off when you see them again and that’s what this felt like.  It was like we were back in high school again, gossiping and laughing together.  It was really nice!

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After lunch, we got Julia home and put her down for a nap so that we could get ready for New Years Eve!  We went out to dinner with Amelie and saw Greg Proops at the Punchline Comedy Club by the Embarcadero.  Dinner was delicious, we had some great drinks and the comedy show was hilarious. Laughing was just the way I wanted to end the year, especially after the rough few weeks we had at the end of the year!  1.5.2016(4)

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The last few days we had were spent hanging out with my parents, relaxing, catching up on sleep and recovering from the cold I seem to have caught while we were in California.  It was a truly wonderful visit and it was hard to leave but at the same time, I’m ready to get back into a routine and I’m ready for work and our life here to distract me from everything that’s been going on.  1.5.2016(3)

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It helps knowing that my mom will be out here for another visit in about 6 weeks and we have a lot of things to look forward to in the next several months, including a visit from Ken’s parents, cousin Paige’s wedding, Passover and of course our big move to Pennsylvania and our trip to Disney in July!

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