Wait and see… wait and see…

Yesterday was another difficult day for us for this pregnancy loss… we drove down to Hopkins yesterday afternoon for a follow-up with the doctors who performed the procedure on Friday.  They wanted to check the size of the gestational sac and make sure that things were progressing as they expected them to.  We were also expecting to meet with the Minimally Invasive Gynecologic Surgeon to get some of our questions answered.  Unfortunately her daughter fell on the playground so she had to go pick her up and we weren’t able to meet with her but we are expecting a call from her sometime today to hopefully answer some of our questions.

The good news is that the Doctor saw exactly what she wanted to see: no signs of fetal cardiac activity (that’s never something I imagined I would be happy about, but I suppose in this case that’s a good thing?) and the size of the gestational sac does not appear to have grown.  The bad news is that now we are in a wait and see pattern… we have to wait and see if my HCG level starts to come down in response to the methotrexate and if the size of the gestational sac starts to decrease.  If my HCG levels don’t start to come down, that could be a sign that I need a second dose of methotrexate.  So for now, I have another blood test scheduled for tomorrow and then I’ll need weekly blood tests for the foreseeable future (feels like we’re watching last year on repeat). I have another follow-up scheduled in 2 weeks for a repeat ultrasound to check on the size of the gestational sac.  I think they’re hoping to start seeing the size going down and to start seeing some of the tissue/fluid being reabsorbed by my body.  Until then I just have to deal with still feeling pregnant (sore boobs, 1st trimester exhaustion, hunger every 2 hours, occasional queasiness/dizziness, and occasional cramping) while knowing that I’m not really pregnant anymore.  It’s a weird state to be in.

I’m hopeful that the surgeon can answer some of our questions today and that her answers are what we want to hear… but for now we will just wait and see.  Wait and see.

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