I apologize in advance if this is TMI…

I do apologize in advance if this is TMI but I promised I would be more open sharing about the difficulties of fertility issues and our pregnancy loss, and coming up: Trying to Conceive again. This week I got my period back. Aside from being physically brutal, the first period after a pregnancy loss is also emotionally bittersweet: it’s sad because it means my body has completely put the pregnancy behind it.  My body has totally moved on and is ready to try again.  My ovaries have figured out that they need to ovulate again and my uterus has shed its lining and is ready to get pregnant again. But it’s also nice to know that things are moving along as they’re supposed to and returning to normal. It’s nice to know that my body no longer has pregnancy hormones, and that I’m physically back to baseline.

We’ve talked about the fact that we still really want to have another baby but that if we were to experience a third pregnancy loss we would probably be emotionally destroyed so we are probably going to give it one more shot and then if it doesn’t work we will consider not trying again.  I’m not ready to jump right back into taking my temperature and charting my ovulation, so for now we will take the “don’t try, don’t prevent” approach and let nature take its course.  If, in a few months from now I’m still not pregnant then we’ll probably do the whole temping and charting thing, but for now I feel like it’s okay to give my body a bit of a break.

We also need to focus on settling into the community here a bit more and finding more fun things to do.  The first few months we were here, we were so distracted by everything… Ken’s new job, my long commute, Julia’s new school, our new house, etc. that we didn’t really have time to build a community for ourselves but now that we have been here a while and Ken is settled into his practice, we have started making friends, getting involved, getting Julia into activities and it’s really starting to feel like home.  Over the weekend I took Julia to SkyZone (a trampoline place that she absolutely loves) and we went out to discover a new (to us) playground which was really awesome and which she loved!

We joined the JCC and I took Julia to a PJ Library event there a couple weeks ago.  We also started doing swimming lessons there a while ago and Julia will be heading there for their summer camp this summer!

Over the weekend Ken took Julia to the JCC for their Daddy-Daughter Date Night!  She had been excited about it for weeks.  Pretty much as soon as she heard that she could go to a dance with her Daddy, she was so excited about it.  She picked out the dress she wanted to wear and I took her to get her nails done the day of the dance.  They looked so adorable!

At the dance, they had a DJ, a photo booth, and the dinner they served was pizza and tater tots, with ice cream for dessert.  It’s a little girls’ dream come true!

After they got home, I asked Julia which was her favorite song she danced to, and she said “the slow one!”  She kept raving about how she “Danced the night away!”  It was pretty adorable, if you ask me!

In addition to finding activities to get involved with, we’ve been spending some nice time at home recently because Ken has been busy studying, so Julia and I have had a few lazy days at home, watching movies, playing with her toys here, etc.

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After all the activity that I like to plan it’s nice to have a few lazy days here and there!  We do of course have a lot of exciting things coming up which will distract us from the sadness we’ve had over the last few weeks, and will hopefully keep our minds off of “trying again”.  Ken’s parents are coming in town this weekend to celebrate his birthday, Ken is heading to Philadelphia next weekend for a board review course, Julia and I are going up to Connecticut the following weekend for Adam & Jenn’s engagement party, and two weeks after that I’m heading to Arizona for my friend Blair’s wedding!  Blair was a bridesmaid in my wedding and I have known her now for 13 years (!) so I am so excited to celebrate her marriage and see her on her wedding day! It will also be nice to get away by myself for a few days.  My parents are meeting me in Arizona and we’ll be doing a few activities together before the wedding.  It will be nice to have some time with them without Ken or Julia around (I love you both but it’ll be nice to have my parents all to myself for a few days!)

Now that this pregnancy loss is fully behind us physically, I suppose my blogging will turn back to regular every day life… and eventually, if I feel comfortable sharing, “trying to conceive.” So for now, over and out.

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